hmmph.

I think MIchelle gives a good answer. I’d like to think (Like Peter) I’d follow at any cost but honestly….I’m not so sure. As for following the church or the pastor or the tradition or the crowd…I think, these have been disappointing over the years and I’m ready to follow the REAL deal. I have friends that seem to be “all in” when a call is made from the church or the pulpit – but I seem to be in this place where I want to question everything.

At our church, we’ve been having a lot of altar calls for various things. The most recent call was for those who want to live a more committed life. My husband turned to me and asked – who’s not going to go down for that call. I responded, “me”. It just felt weird for me. Did it really mean if I didn’t go down front that I’m not committed? I looked around and half of the church was at the altar and half was still in their pews. There were some older men and women who going down to the altar would be a difficult process with walker’s or wheel chairs. I also saw faces of some who just looked “uncomfortable”. I think the pastor noticed the elderly – he said “I know there are some of you who would want to come down here but physically can’t – God knows who you are.” Those words just really irked me. REALLY? Yes, God knows the hearts of all men – so what was the point of that exercise? It just felt divisive – who’s in and who’s out? In that moment, I felt like I had chosen to stand with those who might be considered by others or themselves to be “out”.

To be honest – I’m not sure who I was following…I’d like to think I was following Jesus…even if it meant to some I wasn’t being “committed”.