a classic rabbinical story tells of the great rabbi zarusa, who lay upon his deathbed at the end of an extraordinary life – yet he was agitated, and greatly disturbed.
his students, who surrounded his bedside as he took his final breaths, in a confused attempt to console him asked, ‘rabbi – why are you so sad? after all the great things you have accomplished, your place in heaven is assured!‘
‘i am afraid!’ zarusa replied. ‘when i get to heaven, God won’t ask me, ‘why weren’t you more like moses?’ or ‘why weren’t you more like king david?’
he’ll ask me, ‘zarusa – why weren’t you more like zarusa?‘ and then what will i say!?!