navy-SEAL-turned-WWF-wrestler-turned-actor-turned-minnesota-governor jesse ventura is quoted in perhaps the most macho movie line of all time, ‘i ain’t got time to bleed.’
i remember the first time i saw the movie ‘predator’ and heard the now famous line as a 13 year old boy. i thought, ‘i ain’t got time to bleed. wow. that’s so manly. i ain’t got time to bleed. so tough. so cool.’
when we’re hurt, we bleed. often times, our temptation is to try to cover up our wound – to put something on it to ease the pain. to self-medicate. to wrap it up. to make it look and feel ‘normal.’
i am hurt. i am wounded. i am, even now, bleeding.
we bleed when we’re rejected. when we’re told we’re not good enough. when we’re left alone, and given up on by those we love, and by those whose love we seek in return.
to pretend that we’re not wounded by these things is an exercise in futility. and nobody is fooled – we’re betrayed by the trail of ‘blood’ that we leave, exposing the true nature of our emotional state. it comes out in our conversation, in our decisions, in our forced laughter, and in our tears.
ignoring the pain won’t make it get better, and it won’t make it go away. instead, allow those closest to you to see your pain and hear your hurt. when we’re wounded, instead of rushing to re-enter a state of normalcy, we need to create time and space to bleed, and to heal.